While the world was busy beating me down, I got busy beating myself preparing for another battle that have created a huge impact with my career flow and future. Looking back at how heartbroken I was during the summer, I could not believe how time was my good friend, helping me back on my feet. Summer was supposed to be beautiful, fun and flirty. Summer represents beach, the beautiful sands that tickles your feet, and the heat that adds up to your hotness. I always look forward for summer. Summer is about summer romances, the chance to flaunt those sexy bodies we all worked hard during the pre summer months and all the fun we can all get. My summer was about tears, heartbreak and the need to get out of the shell I thought was my comfort zone. My summer represented the need for change, to stand stronger and create a ripple effect for all the things that I was used to and felt that needed to be changed. And so while the world with all the drama in it was beating me to my knees, I fought back and beat myself in the gym instead. I ran and ran until the sides of my abdomen hurt and I was out of breath. I did crunches until I cannot bend the next day. I did a hundred of push up exercises until I cannot twist my sides. I changed my meal and eating habits. I stopped consuming empty calories and replaced it with healthy and nutrient laden foods. True, I agree that ice cream and chocolates increase your feel good hormones but I refrained from consuming them. Whenever I felt down, no matter how tired I was from the flight, I always dragged myself to the gym to do some running and crunches. I got myself a very colorful trainer from Nike and it encouraged me to actually run in the treadmill. I took care of my skin. I made sure that I have removed my make ups before going to sleep by using a cleansing oil with a soft tissue first and then I washed my face with a gentle soap twice. I made it a habit to put moisturizer every night and sun block every day. I lovingly put body oil after I showered to retain moisture. I made myself busy making myself look good and feel good. Whenever sadness crept in, I engaged in marathon with The Big Bang Theory while munching on carrot sticks. I had 3 cups of green tea every day and 2 liters of water every single day. I stopped eating aircraft foods and all those oil rich, fatty burgers and fries. I always loved take outs, but when I decided to do a lifestyle change, I started to make my food. In that way, I was in control of my salt, sugar and fat intakes. Mentally, I forced myself back to my love for reading books. I began to check my phone and I have discovered that there were so many downloaded books that I haven’t read yet. So, I began reading them, like 2 books or article per day. Luckily, those books were actually inspiring, self helps, motivational and guide to become a better, well-rounded individual. I For the first few weeks, I can say that it was a struggle. Gym and food habits were the hardest to change. But overtime, I have acquired the mentality that I am doing all these things for myself. The discipline I was enforcing upon myself was slowly becoming visible to the people around me. I had this auto immune disorder which bothers me at any day of the month, but when I started to eat clean and practiced a healthy lifestyle, I practically go about my days with no pain or any bothersome symptoms. Few months later, I found myself feeling good, and slowly moving forward with my life. I felt lighter, bubblier, and happier. I have occasional drama and run ins with hurtful memories but I always bounced back in a positive light.
While the world was busy letting me down, I was busy cultivating a positive mentality. I promised myself to be nicer, gentler and compassionate to others because being good and doing good made me feel good about myself. And then I decided to simply be sensitive to other people’s feelings around me for they might be having a battle on their own in silence.
While the world was busy throwing painful moments at me, I was busy improving myself. I was busy finding good in everything that was thrown into me. I have discovered friendships that I have neglected long ago, and people who lovingly stayed with me all throughout my struggles. And I found some extremely special people who became my comrades in my battle. I have made genuine friendships with ordinary colleagues, with random people whom I only say hello to whenever I saw them, and with exes whom I have sworn I will never talk to in my whole lifetime. And I am significantly grateful for that.
When the world was busy drowning me in the sea of uncertainties and despairs, I was busy pushing myself to my limits. I jumped headfirst into interviews, which at first, I doubted if I can get through, given my physical defect and to my surprise, offers came left and right.
When the world was busy breaking my heart from all the unexpected betrayals, I was given the chance to discover that there are actually people who love me unconditionally. And I realized that not all betrayals are bad. Sometimes, it is a way to show you who is meant to stay with you for a long time, who is worth your sacrifices and who is worth spending the rest of your life with.
Fast forward to my life now, I am honestly admitting that I had days where I cheated with my healthy habits. I slipped in my healthy regimen and I have a lot of excuses. But the drive was always there. I am grateful for the pain that my summer put me through. I am grateful for all the things I have learned. It made me value the people around me, every moment I have spent with the people I have loved and the relationships I have had. I am grateful for the experience and the drive it brought me, the desire to be healthy in all aspects. It brought me to a far better and happier spring. Plus, I have a better future that awaits me. I know winter is a cold season, but my heart will never feel cold. It is beating with such warmth and genuine gratitude, only a person who is in love will understand. ❤